Our Journey: I thought it would be different

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

I thought it would be different

My heart just broke.....again. My friend found out she was pregnant a few weeks after me and found out she has now lost her third exactly two weeks after I did. This is ridiculous. I don't understand why this keeps happening. I feel so bad for her and I just wish it could have been different for both of us. Even though God didn't answer my prayers, I still prayed for her baby every day and I am just so angry and confused about all of this.

2 comments:

Dawn said...: I just read your post and I had the same issues with God and why he would let something like this happen.

My mom gave me this book to read this specific chapter.

It is "The Case For Faith" by Lee Strobel.

The chapter she recommeneded to me was Objection #1: Since Evil and Suffering Exist a Loving God Cannot

I have found the chapter really interesting and helpful. I hope it helps you too and can bring some comfort.; October 3, 2008 at 2:04 PM
emily said...: Thanks. I will check that book out.; October 4, 2008 at 12:15 PM

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Breaking it down

9.17.10 - D&C for miscarriage #6
9.16.10 (8 weeks 1 day) - Third ultrasound. Baby had no heartbeat.
9.7.10 (6 weeks 6 days) - Second ultrasound. Measured 6 weeks 3 days. Heartrate 118 bpm.
9.2.10 (6 weeks 1 day) - First ultrasound. Measured 5 weeks 6 days. Heartrate 105 bpm.
8.23.10 (4 weeks 5 days) - hcg at 6831. Progesterone at 39.7.
8.16.10 (3 weeks 5 days) - hcg at 261. Progesterone at 47.7.
8.12.10 (3 weeks 1? days) - I found out I was pregnant for the sixth time. EDD 4.27.11
3.24.10 - Endometrial Biopsy #2 - Plan is to stop taking baby aspirin, reduce folic acid from 4 mg to 1 mg, continue prenatal, start endometrin 3 days post LH surge and not start Heparin until 5-6 weeks (after first u/s)
3.15.10 - Started Endometrin
2.15.10 - Sonohysterogram - Results from biopsy. 3 day endometrial lag should be corrected with Endometrin.
1.25.10 - Hysteroscopy & Endometrial Biopsy #1
12.2.09 - First appointment with new RE. Retesting everything and a few new tests. 25 vials of blood taken.
9.09 - Results back. Baby #5 was a normal baby boy.
7.24.09 - D&C for miscarriage #5
7.23.09 (9 weeks) - 3rd ultrasound. Baby had no heartbeat.
7.15.09 (7 weeks 6 days) - 2nd ultrasound. Heartrate 140 bpm.
7.6.09 (6 weeks 4 days) - 1st ultrasound. Heartrate 125 bpm.
6.18.09 (4 weeks) - hcg at 106.
6.16.09 (3 weeks 5 days) - I found out I was pregnant for the 5th time and started progesterone and lovenox injections again. hcg at 30. EDD 2.25.10
4.1.09 - Results back. Baby #4 was a normal baby boy.
2.20.09 - D&C for miscarriage #4
2.16.09 (8 weeks 2 days) - Second ultrasound. Baby had no heartbeat.
2.2.09 (6 weeks 2 days) - First ultrasound. Heartrate 105 bpm.
1.27.09 (5 weeks 3 days) - hcg at 15,192. Feeling better.
1.19.09 (4 weeks 2 days) - hcg at 287. Doubling just fine.
1.17.09 (4 weeks) - hcg at 80.
1.15.09 (3 weeks 5 days) - I found out I was pregnant for the 4th time and started progesterone and lovenox injections. hcg at 26. EDD 9.26.09
11.21.08 - Surgery to remove tissue found on Sonohysterogram
11.14.08 - Sonohysterogram
11.6.08 - First RE appointment. Most testing is complete, but we are doing a few more tests next week and have a plan for the next pregnancy.
11.5.08 - HCG down to 5. Almost there!
10.22.08 - We found out that the baby was a normal baby boy and that I have hetero MTHFR and hetero Factor V Leiden. I will have to take extra folic acid and baby aspirin before next pregnancy. Also, I will have to do injections of Lovenox or Heparin during next pregnancy. I still had a positive pregnancy test. I went in for blood draws to check my HCG and it is slowly going down.
10.4.08 - 13 vials of blood for testing.
9.19.08 - D&C for miscarriage #3.
9.17.08 (10 weeks) - They could not find a heartbeat on doppler and discovered that the heart had stopped on the ultrasound.
9.16.08 (9 weeks 6 days) - I started to not feel right and called to get some reassurance.
8.26.08 (6 weeks 6 days) - Second ultrasound. We saw a baby blob and a little heartbeat at 113 bpm.
8.15.08 (5 weeks 2 days) - First ultrasound. We saw a sac and fetal pole.
8.4.08 (3 weeks 5 days) and my birthday - started progesterone.
8.3.08 (3 weeks 4 days) - I found out I was pregnant for the third time. EDD 4.15.09
7.08 - Switched to new OB.
5.16.08 - Cytotec for natural miscarriage.
5.14.08 (11 weeks) - Miscarriage #2 confirmed.
4.4.08 (5 weeks 2 days) - I found out I was pregnant for the second time. EDD 12.3.08
1.21.08 (10 weeks 4 days) - Natural miscarriage.
12.11.07 (4 weeks 5 days) - I found out I was pregnant for the first time! EDD 8.14.08
Fall 2007 - Started TTC

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

I thought it would be different

2 comments:

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