Ready for 2009

I am ready for 2009. I am SO ready for a new year.

This year has been so hard and I feel like maybe when 2009 comes it will all get better. In 2008 I was pregnant 3 times and lost 3 little babies. I have gained a lot of weight and been down to the depths of despair multiple times. I have had 2 surgeries, given probably about 100 vials of blood, had countless doctors and nurses check me out, felt the worst pain of my life, alienated some friends and family, cried gallons of tears, and have nothing but emptiness to show. I am having such a hard time knowing that this year has been such a failure with so much loss. I am trying so hard to get the pieces of my life back together. I have been working out a lot, eating more healthy foods, I am taking 10 pills a day (prenatals, a crap load of folic acid and baby aspirin) to prepare my body for another pregnancy, and we have a plan for when I do get pregnant again. I am ready to have my healthy baby and am scared that I will have to go through another year without him/her.

I pray that 2009 will bring much more happiness and joy.